I fell off a horse nine years ago, figuratively speaking anyway. And then while I was still on the ground a whole stampede ran through and about did me in.
Nine years is a long time to be afraid of horses.
If you want to get over this fear, I suggest telling the truth to a cowboy. I’m not sure you’ll like the answer, I know I didn’t, but it will be the right answer. Like it or not.
Me: “I’m tired of this, am I ever going to learn how to trust again?”
Him: “You know what I’m going to tell you right?”
Me: “Yeah, yeah, I know cowgirl up and ride, right?”
Him: “Not this time darlin. This time I’m telling you to grow up and stop making people responsible for what happened in your past. You don’t get to decide for them which end of the horse they are going to be. Trust the rider, trust the horse. If you fall off, get back on, find your seat and ride. You don’t take it out on the horse if you fall off, right?”
Him: “So quit taking it out on people. Once you learn that trick, then you can cowgirl up and ride all you want.”
Either I’ve lived in Oklahoma far to long, or he made perfect sense. He hurt my feelings, like a real friend will from time to time, but he’s right. You can’t ride if you can’t find your seat.
Trust the rider (me)
Trust the horse (them)
find your seat and ride.
When you fall off (not if)
Pick yourself up
Dust off the dirt
and start again.
And whatever you do, don’t take it out on the horse.